Welcome, Mamma Crew! Today is Kiddos Tuesdays when I discuss issues related to the kids.
So this was a particularly interesting Father’s Day. I mean, it wasn’t unusual in that the kids, per usual, thought ahead, wanted to make sure that their Daddy had gifts. And this year, they went for t-shirts. Now they don’t always do that — sometimes things get interesting. He did receive a Darth Vader mask one year.
But this year, they decided to keep it simple and they went for t-shirts. Really cute t-shirts. And, of course made shopping easy during this pandemic. But they were a little more concerned with making the day special. They wanted to make sure that Daddy got his favorite food that day and that he got his favorite dessert. So we ate roast and pineapple upside-down cake.
And of course, there was nothing too special we could do because we’re kinda stuck, but it was an easy-going, loving, soft sort of day. And it was enjoyable, it was special. Specifically, because we didn’t go out of our way to do anything overly fantastic, you know? Those things where you plan for days and you do these convoluted trips or special dinners. No, it was nothing like that. It was just soft. Very soft.
That’s one thing that I’ve noticed about moving into a smaller space. We’ve become closer again. Those family bonds have gotten tighter, but softer. Because we are spending so much time with one another, we’re kinder, more compassionate, more loving.
So as the day was going and the kids were doing their own thing (but very cognizant that it was Father’s Day and making sure that Daddy was enjoying what he was doing), I realized how much things have changed this past year. You know, Bug, my four-year-old adopted son was struggling to make a connection with Daddy. He’s a little shy. Yes, they did have some great times together, and more and more, Bug is expressing interest in football and the Ohio Buckeyes, so that bodes well. They have watched movies together and cuddled and Michael did show him how to ride a bike. But this was different.
I’ve noticed that Bug is initiating the relationship more. In the past, Daddy had to do all the work. Now, Bug is really becoming attached and it’s normal for him to not think about being with Daddy. Just be with Daddy. It’s such an amazing transition. You don’t really think about these things when you’ve had your children from birth. I mean, they grow up knowing Daddy and there is a safety softness that’s always in there but with Bug, it’s taken time. It Took time for him to develop that comfort zone.
So it was so much fun when I was taking Father’s Day pictures and he climbed on Dad and it was interesting because my twin daughters were kind of like, “Okay, wait a minute, where do we sit in this picture now? That used to be our spot!” Not that they begrudged Bug — Bug is the baby in the family (of course, they didn’t begrudge it but then made fun of it and they had a blast with it). They acknowledged his place. His new place in the family. It was beautiful to watch.
I love it in such complicated times when it always feels like the world is on fire, we can still be a family and continue to grow as a family; that we can have these moments of softness and peace and love without feeling like life has gotten too complicated and wondering when things will be back to normal, knowing that they never will. There will be a new normal. Just not the normal we knew before.
So my heart was just so full – full for my husband, who was acknowledged as a good father; who was loved; who was shown appreciation — and full for myself that my family is safe; that my children appreciate their Dad; that my husband looked so happy; that even in this craziness, we have found a way to make life good; life safe for our family.
Of course, I couldn’t help but think back to Daddy’s first Father’s Day. My twins were born on Father’s Day that year and he was so excited. His eyes were just bedazzled with sparkle and delight and hope even though the babies were in the NICU strapped to hoses and we didn’t know how one of them was going to do. I just can’t forget the doctor saying the long-term prognosis is good and me asking, “How is the short-term prognosis?” And the doctor would look at me and respond, “The long-term prognosis is good!”
So, of course, we had to get to the short-term, but he thing about Dad was that he knew — he always knew — that everything was going to be alright and that both girls were going to make it, and they were going to be healthy, excitable, troublesome teenagers one day.
That’s certainly something that Dad brings to our family — optimism. The belief that things will be okay and that things will be better. And it was the same way when we added two children to our family. And he saw them and he realized, “Okay, this may be more challenging than we originally thought.” But once again, his eyes sparkled and they dazzled and he said, “It is going to be alright! We’re going to be okay.”
Faith. He has a lot of faith. And he transmits it to the family and creates a loving cocoon of safety. So anytime our kids are with Daddy, they always feel safe. And they always feel that things are going to be alright because he always makes it alright. That’s what he does.
So what can I tell you? My children looked up at a great dad!
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