(from left to right, second row, second girl is baby A, fourth girl baby B)

My intellectual pursuits never included, even via my overly vivid imagination, the possibility I would spend hours upon hours, minor exaggeration, making ballerina tutus.  Clearly, this new “hobby” of mine was not just a surprise to me, but to family and friends.  Indeed, it rippled into a minor controversy.  Are professional or intellectual women wasting their time when we choose to expand our horizons via “simplistic” tasks?  I would like to begin with the latter point and then address the first.

It’s true that that the mechanics of making tutus do not tax my brain the way the Poisson distribution once did.  However, the creative process of fashioning a specific look is both a challenge and a pleasure.  I have now made, sixteen tutus, courtesy of instruction by Julie of SuliBlu (http://www.youtube.com/user/wowzzydotcom).  I made ten of them just before the Christmas holiday as gifts for my twins’ dance class.  My sense of accomplishment rivaled the excitement of finding patient zero!  This brings me to the controversy…

Am I wasting my time? Here is the thing…  I was always a strange child, my nose in a book, seeing the world unlike anyone else, the best student in class, unable to see the world beyond the confines of the left side of my brain.  My family and friends always discussed how “weird” I was and never knew quite how to handle my success.  Nevertheless, they didn’t like me to deviate from what everyone considered to be my “normal” behavior, and I was happy to indulge. But, the day I became pregnant, the day I knew I would be a mother, I began to be free of the shackles of myself!

The tutus are just one more venture into the freedom I am fashioning as a mother.  Through my children’s interests I am exploring the right side of my brain.  I have not abandoned the tutus but have now included making Barbie clothes, furniture, and hair bows (they are a bitch to make) for my twins.  The more I explore the clearer it becomes that motherhood is not just about loving and caring for my children, it can also be a new exploration of the self, a venture into roads within that have never been traveled, that revitalize my soul and make me a better rounded woman.